I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
