I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
