I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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