We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
