I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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