Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
