You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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