It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
