Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
