Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
