all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dick very happy bro
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
