Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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