Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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