Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
