The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I need a beard to bite.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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