She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
