What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
