he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
