he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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