So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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