I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
