It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
