So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
