he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
