Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
