maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
