Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight