its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.