i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
