Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
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There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
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I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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