Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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