"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i dont even know how to be here
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
