You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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