i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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