last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
