I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
