Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
