Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
