I just saw a hot homeless man
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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