hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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