White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
