im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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