He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
