All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
