i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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