awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
