I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
