oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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