New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
