Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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