before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
