while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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