think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
