I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
