You're so nebulous sometimes
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize