I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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