I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
