Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
