Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
