As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dick very happy bro
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
