I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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