I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
