he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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