I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
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So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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