you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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