I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
