dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
